Start from the beggining or backstep?

1973 or 2009... Fuck! Where to start writing? There are so many things in my head right now... I would love to start telling you about... Go to 1917?... 1947? Tell you about my childhood and try to remember where it all went "wrong"... Did it really go wrong or is absolutely everything that has happened to me or by me, either because someone decided for me or I made the choice really handled by the Puppet Master people refer to as God and it is actually "right"?

I must warn you, that what you are about to read will really reflect me I am hard to keep up with... fluttering from one subject to another like a DragonFly Fairy, if you will.

There are 12,995 days (give or take a few) of experience in this connection of brain to fingers I am using tonight to begin something I have always been curious of but never decided to do... Create a "Blog"... I had never read one until I was invited to look at a url by the name of littlebitchyc@ndygirl and let me tell ya... I could not have described her better! She is exactly that...Sometimes a little bitchy and sometimes a little sweet like candy. She will show you what she wants you to see, nothing more, nothing less. And I can safely say now that she is one of my best friends and I know she feels the same way about me even though she won't admit it... I know too much about her for it to be any other way!

Being the daughter of a Military man is not easy... Lovey Dovey, Touchy, Feely is not something he was big on. I was lucky if I got a tushy rub every once in a while but I would not change anything he gave me for anything else in the world... of course, I do admit, I can say this now... If you would have asked me this question when I was 15... My answer would have been much diferent...

I was getting home from school one afternoon and I see my dad walking up to me with this look on his face that was familiar to me... He was furious but I didn't know why... I was smiling though... Thinking he was there to walk me back home and then I noticed the car... Next thing I know, his hand was across my face, so hard to the point where my bag and all my books where on the street... He asked me why I was 5 hours late getting home... I just ran into the nearest place I could and asked to borrow the phone to call my mom. I wanted nothing to do with that man. Litltle did I know that he was worried sick because he though I had a "toca x la mañana" day at school at I had a "toca x la tarde" one that day... Probably not the best way to start talking about my dad and pease don't get me wrong, he was an amazing father. He was a provider, worked hard everyday of his life, not a huge fan of saying that he loved me or how much he did but now I know how much that man did love me.. He would have given his life for me, if need be but as far as affection was concerned... Well, let's just say I didn't get much of that... Which brings me to my mom... I can say with great pride that woman sacrificed herself for me, that basiaclly sums up my dear, sweet mother... She is the utmost and most important human in my life, even before my daughters and my baby, I know that is not the way it should be but she deserves it.